What is a Trauma?

While some trauma occurs from the big things that all come to our mind like rape, physical abuse, a bad car accident or such, trauma can also come from much much smaller things too. . . . . Trauma to be more exact is a strong usually sudden emotional response to a disturbing event. . . . . This means that small things could trigger trauma. For example . . . . .

My Mom, loving, caring, hard working, did the best she could, but like every human on the planet was having a bad day. Mom and Dad were talking in the bedroom upstairs and I was doing a little craft project. I was soo excited and proud of my craft and couldn't wait to show them particularly Mom. I bounded up the stairs and burst into the room showing off my craft (I don't even remember what I made any more). Both parents looked at me. They had been in a serious conversation. Mom looked away and I was devastated. I felt shamed like I was wrong. My parents did nothing wrong. But I knew something was wrong and as a sensitive child I picked up on the tension and internalized it. I felt like I was bad and wrong. I picked up on a sense of shame in that moment.

That moment is seared in my brain and once in a while I'll have a flash back to that momentary look away and feel the shame all over again. As an adult I've reframed the situation to make it more manageable. Instead of my Mom being ashamed of me I bed she was feeling shame about herself not being as present as she wanted to be. I picked up on the shame but as a child spun it the wrong way. It makes me have more empathy for my Mom as she was trying her best but just having a bad day.

Takeaways

• Trauma can be small distressing things that evoke strong sudden emotion

• Beliefs about ourselves often come out of trauma (although not necessarily true)

• Therapy can help us reframe our beliefs