The Helpful Side of Comparison

Usually comparison yourself to others can lead to really unhealthy things. However there is a positive way to compare. I had a friend remind me of that yesterday. I was having a really bad day and feeling defeated about all the things I did not do (laid on the couch all day instead of exercising or cleaning or reading, . . . heading to the drive through instead of cooking the healthy dinner that was in the fridge, . . . etc.. . . .etc. . . . . etc.. . . ). I have a job interview today and yesterday I was trying to prepare for it but could not get into a good headspace. I simply felt defeated. I called someone and their advice was not helpful so I decided to try again and got a hold of a friend who is really logical and lots of professional experience. He first stopped me and reminded me that I am doing better then where I was three months ago. . . . .

Three months ago I was in the hospital for depression and suicidal thinking. Three months ago I couldn't live by myself because my thoughts would get so dark I could not distract from them. Three months ago I worried about becoming homeless because I just resigned from my position because I was not ready to go back to work. Three months ago I would not have been able to prepare for a job interview. Three months ago I would not have had enough energy to get to the drive trough for dinner. Three months ago I would not have been able to lay on the couch by myself all day without suicidal thoughts. . . . .

This is called comparing down. I began comparing myself to someone or myself during a time when I was lower then I am now. It helped me get perspective. So often I tend to compare up to people who I think are better off then me. This has almost never helped me achieve real success. Comparing down however has helped me get perspective and find gratitude for the little things. Even when I was at my lowest I could compare down to little things. I wasn't homeless. I did have enough food. I had people that cared about me even if they didn't always know what to do to help me. I had a dog who loved me no matter how low I was. While life is not perfect it is dramatically better then it was before. I have come leaps and bounds. My creativity is coming back and eventually my confidence will fully come back. I will be forever changed from my experience but I can be stronger and wiser for it.

Takeaways

• Comparison has both unhealthy and healthy aspects

• Comparing up is comparing to someone else you think is better then you or a time in your life where you were better then what you are now. This is detrimental and tends to bring our mood down

• Comparing down is comparing yourself to others who are worse off or to yourself when you were at a lower point in life. This can be helpful to see progress, bring perspective, find gratitude, and increase mood.