For the Love of Control

There are many things that I would like to have happen that are out of my control. Mainly I would love to hear back from the jobs that I applied to as to if I was a good fit. Even if I'm not then I have an answer and I'm not hoping for something that isn't going to be. In the mean time I can be anxious and miserable or take control of what is in my realm of influence. I've done all I can do for the job, now it is time to take care of me. . . . . And the dishes . . . . . And making dinner. . . . . and walking my dog. . . . and picking up her poop . . . . how luxurious. I also could clean my apartment and collect all the fuzz and fluff my puppy has torn out of her stuffy while I have typed away at my computer applying for jobs.

The all or nothing part of me wants to go and go and go and go until I have all the answers figured out. The thing is no matter how much I have figured out there will always be certain things out of my control. I can make myself not just emotionally knotted up but go to the point where I start having physical symptoms such as headache, tightness in my chest, tight muscles, clenched jaw, indigestion. . . . you get the picture. While planning is a good thing, attempting to control what is not in your realm to control is an issue causing mental and physical stress.

Letting go of control is hard sometimes. For me I often go to the worst case scenario. . . . If the worst case happened and I lost everything, would I be okay? While that would be awful and I will work very hard to avoid that I have come to a place in life where things are just things and are replaceable. I would be okay. I also know that I have good qualities and while it would take time to make new friends it can happen. What I value most about myself cannot be taken away by others. When I see that then I know that even if this job doesn't work out like I want it to I know I will be okay. If I can be okay then I can let it go for a little while.

Worst case scenario comparison might be a little extreme and not be for everyone. Other times I have taken a walk, talked to a friend, worked on a puzzle or anything that helped my mind be active and keep my mind from drifting away. There is also the Serenity Prayer which is a nice reminder.

God, grant me the serenity to

accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.

Takeaways

• Stress can hurt not just mentally but physically

• Doing other activities that engage our thinking can take our mind off the topic

• Worst case scenario can help to put things in perspective