Being Missunderstood

I have recently been in several situations where where I am coming from was misunderstood. The closer the people are to you either family or friends, the harder it hits. Also. . . . . Just because someone is in the social service or mental health field doesn't mean they always understand. The series of recent misunderstandings to basically rejections has disheartened me for the moment. I need a few moments to grieve the connections I thought I had. With mental illness there are sooooo many misconceptions and misunderstandings. There are so many opinions without much knowledge behind it. It is fine to be a tenderhearted person but it is helpful to have a layer of thick skin to navigate the misunderstandings without becoming completely paralyzed by pain.

One way that helps me frame misunderstandings in a more useful manner is to consider the person speaking and not make excuses but acknowledge that they have some kind of gap in their understanding or ability to Express empathy. Sometimes people are unaware of how they have misunderstood and hurt us. The teacher in me wants to educate others to try to prevent it from happening again. The thing is when someone hasn't had the same experience, no matter how many times you tell them they may not ever get it in a way that they can empathize. In this case I have to acknowledge that they have a gap in their ability to comprehend the situation. Now whither what I said about educating others. . . . That usually only works if you are calm. If I feel angry or hurt from what someone said I am not in the best place to educate if I will be too emotional. While I may be used to feeling emotions very strongly due to my illness, others are not necessarily used to that and may not know how to process what you are saying. This is just a short snippet of how I process. I may go into further detail in another blog.

Takeaways

• Sometimes it is necessary to have some thick skin

• Others will have opinions about your life but that dose not make them an authority

• Acknowledge that others have gaps in their knowledge or experience and don't expect them to know everything

• If there is an opportunity to educate do your best to be calm as it will be received much better then if you are angry